The Suzuki Lifestyle on Early Parenthood

I recently came across these ideas I wrote out when Maggie was maybe 8-9 months old. I was navigating life as a new mom and trying to figure out who I was and what I needed (still a work in progress...). These concepts are such great reminders and what I've been reminding myself of as I continue to navigate all the changes this year has brought along with creating the best environment and lifestyle for my kids.

1. It's okay to let them struggle.

It is our instinct to want to protect kids from everything and to make things easy for them. But when we fail to give them the opportunity to be independent and to figure things out on their own, we are denying them the chance to grow and to learn and to be better human beings. It's okay to let them struggle and to let them know you will always be there. When we struggle it means we have more to learn. It's also okay for us as parents to struggle and to let our kids see us struggle! 

2. The importance of developing a schedule and routine.
One of the best ways to teach children is to be consistent. Children, even babies, find comfort in knowing what to expect and what is happening next. Routine creates calm and understanding and is a simple way to bring a family together and make the most out of each day.

3. Be flexible - The schedule and routine you create, won't always work.
Even though you've tried to stay consistent and follow the routine, things don't always go according to plan, especially with kids. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK AND JUST START FRESH TOMORROW. Do the best you can do in the moment, do the minimum, adjust the schedule when needed, and take it one day at a time.

4. Put aside the crying, the sleeplessness, the messiness, the chaos, and really just focus on what you have and the lifestyle you are trying to create.
As we ride the waves of having a newborn, a toddler, a teenager, etc., it is so important to live in the moment. As a planner, I like to look at whats happening in the next week, the next month, the next year so I can be prepared. But when we only look at what might happen, we become blinded by what's happening in the present. If we don't know whats happening in the present, we don't know what we need to change. It's so important to be there and witness everyday, to make small changes and to witness small changes, and to see our kids being kids!

5. Take care of yourself and prioritize your life, work, wants and needs.
It wasn't long after my first daughter was born that I realized if I didn't make time to do something just for me in a day, I was not being the best mother I could possibly be. I also realized that when I hustle and really focus, I can get a lot done in 10-20 minute chunks or a 1-2 hour nap - I just needed to learn how to prioritize my time differently. I think it is so important for my kids to see that I am still working and learning at being the best version of myself and that this process never stops. When we model to our kids the importance of taking time for ourselves, we are giving them the opportunity to learn to be more self-aware and to realize that being kind to ourselves is just as important as being kind to others.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! 

How I FINALLY Got My 3 Year Old to Practice EVERYDAY - PART 3

Part 3 - In Conclusion

Start by looking at any 'problem areas' in the day. What are the things that you should and want to be getting done daily but are things that you always seem to argue about? 

Discuss them together (even with your littlest ones) and refine them. Start with just a few and agree that these things will get done each day. 

What works for your family to EARN if you work together to get the list done? 

Maybe a morning routine doesn't work for you, so try an afternoon or evening routine. 

Maybe after school the expectation is your child washes up from the day, empties backpack and practices violin. Or an evening routine of put on pajamas, brush teeth, practice violin. 

Maybe instead of earning screen time it's playing a video game or using the ipad/computer or going out to play with friends. 

Maybe you collect your days and earn an ice cream on the weekend or a new book to read at the end of the month. 

Maybe you try a combination of all of these until you figure out whats feels right for your family!

The list won't always be easy. But there is no better time to COMMIT then now! Post the list on your phone, on the fridge, at the kitchen table. Talk about it when you get up in the morning and before you go to bed at night. Make sure everyone agrees and is on board and works together to get things done. Set the expectation and then encourage each other! 

I can't remember the last day we didn't practice and the heavy load on my shoulders has disappeared. It is definitely not easy, but when it directly benefits our children and the joy we all feel by the end of the day having worked together rather than butt heads, it is a pretty good reason to continue to make small lifestyle changes.